


Tales of a Breacher

by Katie237



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry Allen In A Coma, Cisco is feeling guilty, Cisco is the new Breacher, Hurt Barry Allen, Hurt/Comfort, Post Season 4 (Spec)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-04-25 01:26:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14367927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie237/pseuds/Katie237
Summary: Post S4 speculations; Devoe has finally been defeated, but it wasn't without some heavy losses. Unable to deal with his guilt and with what happened, Cisco left to E19 to be the new Breacher, but can't stop himself from visiting an old friend every week. ShortStory





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new short story that had been in my mind since Breacher gave the offer to Cisco and since we learned the finale' title is going to be (SPOILER ALERT if you haven't seen it): 'We are the flash'
> 
> My (dark) vision of the finale is based on what the title could imply if the title reference what happened in the comics.
> 
> I tried to write it a little differently than what I usually do, hope you'll still going to enjoy it. Note that since my Beta is busy looking at two chapters I sent her, i wrote this all on my own and wrote it a bit fast over the weekend, so I'm sorry for the little mistakes and typos.

**Wednesday, June 27th , 2018 1:03AM**

In the very dim and constant light emanating from the medbay and into the cortex, a bright blue light suddenly appeared in the room barely a couple of seconds before the formation of a portal; a breacher's portal that disturbed the peace and quiet of the night. In the next instant, a figure stepped out of it, gracefully landing on the palms of his hands and on his left knee with a small thumb that resonated in the silent room.

Getting up and back on his feet, the breacher with long curly black hair took off his glasses and revealed the tired but familiar features of Cisco Ramon. Before making any other move, the young man took a quick look around the room with all his senses on alert, making sure he was in the clear. Apparently he was; there was nobody in sight and not a single sound all around, other than the constant and familiar beeping coming from the next room.

Putting his hairs back behind his ears, he quietly walked toward to the room while carefully watching his steps to make sure he wouldn't disturb the sleeping form on the bed that was completely surrounded by and connected to numerous medical equipment. To be honest, no matter the amount of sound Cisco could've produced, it probably wouldn't have mattered considering how the form hadn't move a single muscle in over a month.

''Hey, buddy,'' he softly whispered while walking in and gently putting down his old Vibe glasses on the desk. Not without a hesitation, once that was done, he went to take place on the chair that was close to Barry Allen's bed, like it had been waiting for the breacher all week long. Maybe it had been waiting, considering Cisco had come to visit every single week since Barry Allen went down.

The simple fact of getting close to the bed without disturbing anything wasn't an easy task considering how many wires were connected to the speedster's body to ensure his organs could keep functioning. It was thanks to these machines that the speedster's lungs had been having all the needed oxygen since the hero's organs couldn't function on their own anymore. They hadn't since…that day. Since May 22nd.

Wiping the corner of his lips, Cisco took away the remaining trace of dry blood on his face.

''I almost didn't make it in time, buddy. You remember that time when I told you about fighting a vampire to save Gipsy's father?'' Like he was expecting the speedster to answer, Cisco took a small pause before continuing, ''well, I got to fight a bunch of them on my own today. Who would've say, not that many years ago, that I would become a vampire fighter? '' He proudly said before quickly losing his smile, ''I hope you would've seen it….I miss you, man.'' He added, closing his eyes for a second.

35 days and a couple of hours since they took Barry back from the Thinker's lair and since the last time Barry took a breath of his own. 35 days since the hero felt into another coma and this time, it was all his fault.

Everything had been so much easier the first time Barry had found himself in this position, back when Cisco didn't really know him. Back then, Barry just was an anonymous patient, so there were no emotions attached. Now all Cisco could do was hold back the tears as he kept on talking and started telling every detail of his last fight. Just like he got used to do every week.

**Wednesday, July 4th , 1:01AM**

Just like every other Wednesday before dawn, Cisco appeared out of thin air and started scanning around the cortex, double checking one more time that he was in the clear. He couldn't let himself being seen. How would he face anyone after what he did? None of this would've happened if it wasn't for his mistakes. Barry would never have ended up in this situation in the first place if it wasn't for his best friend's absence. If Cisco hadn't been so busy thinking and discussing his future with Gipsy, he would've been there to stop Devoe from taking the speedster hostage once more…They might've taken down Devoe at the end, but it was already too late.

Sometimes, Cisco even wondered if his decision to leave for Earth 19 was worth it. He sure had nothing to complain about, after all he was seeing his girl every day and fighting criminals side by side with her all the time. Plus, in the last couple of weeks, he pretty much established his place in the Collector's Agency and gained the respect of the other breachers with his latest missions. Walking in Breacher's footsteps was no small feat, but Cisco rose up to the challenge in an impressive manner in the last month and a half, he should proud of that. He should and he probably would've, if it wasn't for all that guilty heavily weighting over in his stomach and overwhelming his every thought.

''You know, man, I know I can't complain, or more like I shouldn't….but something's still missing. '' he trailed, popping his head up and looking outside the room as he thought he heard something…or someone.

False alert.

Sighing, he redirected his attention toward his friend while gently taking care of the little folds in the warm blanket that was covering Barry all to way up 'til his waist. It was probably a stupid thought, but it made him feel good to do something, anything, to take care of the hero after letting him down like that. No task was too small to try and help ease his consciousness.

''Gipsy's making me happy and working with her, every day, is amazing…but I wish you would be there…come back to me, man,''

**Thursday, July 12th , 1:08AM**

''Hey buddy, I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday-'' he started pitifully while taking off his gauntlets, ''me and Gipsy' last mission turned quickly from bad to worse on Earth 28. We ended up being captured and we couldn't breach out….but you probably don't wanna hear all the details-''

Cisco stopped in the middle of his sentence and chuckled to himself. Maybe this weekly ritual of coming and talking to a comatose patient on his own was driving him crazy because he could've sworn he heard Barry's voice answering him in his head.

''Alright, maybe you do want to hear every detail, but I sure hope you have nothing better to do,'' he tried to joke to keep the ambiance as light and casual as possible.

Last thing he needed was a reminder that his friend wasn't coming back to him. Coma was such a bad word, it just sounded so permanent. No, it was just another friendly chat with his best friend. Just like the ones they've been having for every single week for the past month and a half. Or more like for the past 3 and a half year. Maybe if he thought about it hard enough, he might be able to convince himself that Barry was fine and was up and about…

Cisco was actually feeling awful about missing out yesterday, even if the circumstances were completely out of his control. He couldn't stop imagining Barry waiting on his own all night, waiting for his friend to show.

''I'll make it up to you, open your ears and keep your mind open cause it's gonna get weird, even for us-''

**Wednesday, July 25th, 3:42AM**

Cisco needed to be more careful because this time he barely managed to avoid being seen. In his hurry to get back to his friend's bedside, he opened up a breach and jumped into it only to hear footsteps moving in the medical bay. What was anyone doing at this time of night? He never had this problem before in his weekly visits. He quickly breached away before Caitlin could get out of the room to go see what was going on. Maybe one day he was going to face her, face everyone, but not today. It's only been 2 months since he failed them all, he wasn't ready just yet.

The next time he vibe, he made absolutely sure the place was empty before jumping into the breach and making his way toward his usual spot in the medbay. It was with two hours late that he finally sat down on his chair before slightly moving it back a little to position it at the exact spot than last week and at the exact right angle. Everything was just a routine at this point and every detail was sacred. Even the position of the chair needed to be perfect before he started to talk;

''Hey buddy. How are you? I got to see the dragon farm this week, the one Breacher retired to, it was full on Skryim! I think I still need to work on my dragonshouts, '' he joked. ''You should've seen Breacher there, he looked like he's been surrounded by dragons all his life, that or he's just a real Dragonborn,''

Whatever he was about to say got interrupted by a breach in formation right next to him. He didn't have to turn around to know who it was, recognizing their energy emanating from it way before that person had finished entering the med bay.

''How is he?' Asked a soft feminine voice. Gipsy. Who else?

Cisco sighed before answering: ''Same. What are you doing here?''

The other Collector placed herself behind his boyfriend before laying her gentle hands on his shoulder, massaging them with a softness and kindness that not too many people knew she was able to:

''You're usually back by now, needing to know if you were ok.''

Cisco exhaled deeply and chose not to reply as his empty eyes were intensely staring at the artificial and regular up and down movement of his friend's chest. Was his schedule always this timed to the minute? Was he always so miserable coming back from Earth 1 that his girl needed to come check on him after he'd been late by a moment or two?

''It's not your fault what happened, you need to get that out of your head,'' added Gipsy, ''even if you hadn't been with me, Devoe would've still taken him.''

''We don't know that,'' answered Cisco, clearly unconvinced. That unanswered question would never leave this mind, what if this? What if that? Was he really to blame?

Taking a deep breath, Gipsy moved a little to position herself to the side of the chair where she waited for Cisco to look at her before continuing:

''Look, Cisco, I know you love me…and I love you, but are you sure you made the right decision by coming on Earth 19? Don't get me wrong, but even when you're with me, I feel like your mind is still here, on this Earth.''

The new Breacher lowered his head and broke eye contact: ''I don't belong here, not anymore, not after what I did.''

Gipsy sighed and gently massaged her forehead; all she wanted was for Cisco to be happy and it didn't seem like anything could make him feel better. Short of ideas, the breacher went to grab another chair and placed herself next to Cisco, staying by his side as long as he needed to be here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wednesday, August 8** **th** **, 1:00AM**

It was a completely exhausted, worn up and dirty Cisco Ramon that entered the medbay that night while being dressed in his official Breacher's black leather jacket. His movements were slow and each step was being made at an excruciating pace as he took his glasses off his face and put them on the desk. His fighting knife, his Breacher's knife, followed and ended up being placed next to his other equipment. For an instant, his glance locked up on the Vibe glasses as he wondered, once more, why he was keeping them. After all, he was past the stage to actually needing them to be able to fight or breach anywhere…

For some unknown reason, he couldn't let go of them, especially during his missions. It's like if, without them, he would be alone in the field despite Gupsy's presence. It was almost like he needed to carry around something to keep him close to his old friend and to what used to be his home. Taking his glance off them, he redirected his attention toward his comatose friend as he took back his place on his chair. The fact that every detail in the room was exactly like it had been two weeks ago, like the position of the chair and the way it was oriented had the breacher smiling. No matter what would happen in his life during the span of one week, or two in this case, he knew he was going to come back to the exact same scene, every time. It felt like Barry had been eagerly waiting for his return.

Once seated, Cisco gently touched his friend's arm: ''hey buddy, I'm sorry I wasn't here last week; Josh managed to get himself captured. Can you believe it? Even while being retired, this man still finds ways to get himself in trouble. I guess it runs in the family. Gipsy and I had been looking for him all over for the past week and a half. We searched on Earth 31, 48, 27...and even Earth 52 to find him. We just managed, a couple of hours ago, to bring him back home.''

To say he was dead tired was an understatement as Cisco was struggling to keep his eyes open. The empty bed sitting against the wall was basically just screaming at him to come over and get a quick, well-deserved, power nap. He still had some times for that as there never was anyone in the lab 'til at least 5 or 6am. His eyes were so heavy and sleep was so tempting, except for the risk of someone showing up unexpectedly. Maybe he could take the risk. Or, maybe he just should've taken a big nap before coming here. No matter how much he needed it, he decided against it because he couldn't wait any longer to see his friend, especially after not coming last week. Barry was waiting for him and for his stories and Cisco wasn't going to let him down after missing a whole week for the first time since this whole Devoe debacle went down.

''Cisco?'' Quietly called out a shaking voice behind him, which swiftly prompted the hero to turn around. Doing so, he ended up face to face with none other than Caitlin who was wearing a white medical coat over her pale blue blouse and black skirt. Her hands were nervously playing with each other in front of her chest as she was anxiously waiting for whatever answer was coming.

The only answer she got was silence while her friend was reaching out for the items he left on the desk.

''Please…don't go, I just wanna talk,'' she pleaded with sad eyes.

Too late. She tried to step forward and grab him, but before she could get any closer, the breacher had already grabbed his equipments with one hand and opened a breach with the other one, disappearing inside of it in an instant.

**Wednesday, August 15** **th** **, 1:01AM**

When Cisco entered his best friend's medical room, he was grateful to find it surprisingly empty. Nobody in sight. Hopefully, Caitlin might have forgotten about running into him, or she just gave up the hope of seeing the man reappear after a whole week of waiting in vain. It probably was wishful thinking, especially the first theory...but, Cisco was just glad to be all on his own.

It wasn't until he arrived at the chair that he realized how wrong he had been consdidering that, sitting on the furniture, there was a white envelope with his name handwritten on it. No need to open it to know who it was from; he could recognize the handwriting anywhere.

As he grabbed the envelope, while he still had both his gauntlets and glasses on him, Cisco took a moment to look behind him to make sure nobody was lurking in the shadow. Scanning around, he couldn't find a single person despite the fact that his breacher senses were telling him otherwise. Letting it go for the moment, he delicately opened the envelope and took out the folded piece of paper before unfolding it to reveal the handwritten message.

_Dear Cisco,_

_I'm sorry I've ambushed you like that last week, I didn't mean to push you away. On the contrary, all ll I wanted to do was talk to you. You really thought I didn't know that you've been coming here every Wednesday night? And, the time, 1:00 AM, you don't think that I might remember it's the exact time I officially pronounced that Barry was in a coma?_

_Look, Cisco, I'm not proud of my actions, but I had been watching you comes and go every week and I've been listening to many, many, of your adventures. Why do you think your chair is always ready and waiting for you at the exact same spot every week? Why do you think the medical room and the cortex are empty every Wednesday from 1 to 3:30 in the morning? I always made sure everything was set up for your arrival and made sure nobody would bother you because, yes, I still do care. I always will. I still hadn't say a single word to anyone because I'm carrying hope that you'll eventually come to talk._

_I got really worried when you didn't show up two weeks ago, so that's why I was able to gather the courage to come up to you. I just wish you would've let me say what I wanted..._

_Cisco, despite of what you think, I don't blame you for what happened. Nobody here does. We still care and we still miss you, dearly. Especially me. Even if you hadn't go to see Gipsy on her Earth, on that day, to discuss your future, Devoe would've found a way to take Barry. He would've found a way to connect him to his wires and take over his body. What really matter is that Barry was able to take back control at the right moment because of you. You were there when we needed you to go against him. You showed up when we needed you the most and that's what's important._

_All I'm asking is for a chance to talk to you. Barry would've wanted us to stick together._

_I will be in your old lab if you're ready and willing to come see me. I hope we'll get the chance to meet face to face soon._

_Caitlin_

The ink of the signature got blurred when a tear the man didn't even feel cascading down on his cheek fell on the sheet of paper. Before his emotional wall could completely break, Cisco jumped into the newly created breach and disappeared into the night.

**Wednesday, August 22** **th** **, 2:52AM**

For the first time in almost two full months, a breach started appearing outside the cortex. To be precise, it formed just outside was used to be Cisco's lab. The breacher that got out of it landed gracefully and took the longest of time to get back on his feet as he was feeling his heart painfully racing in his chest and, just for a second, he considered running away one more time. He couldn't do this…

' _Come on, Cisco, you can do this,'_  he encouraged himself before finally getting back up and getting moving, one step after the other until he finally reached the lab's entrance.

Entering the room, he spotted  _her._  Caitlin was slumped in the chair and asleep on the desk. On the desk, where her head and arms were resting, the computer was displaying the security footages of the cortex and the medical bay. Poor girl must've fallen asleep waiting for her friend to show up, despite Cisco's decision of running away for the second time in two weeks. Taking off his Vibe glasses and getting close to the doctor, Cisco's heart clenched when he saw the impressive dark circle under Caitlin's eyes. How many sleepless night did she had as she was taking care of Barry or waiting for Cisco to come back so she could hear his stories and hope that one day he would come back to her? Guilt formed a lump in his throat and he almost took it as an excuse to run off. It hit now that he wasn't the only person who lost two of his best friends in the same night. No, he couldn't add more disappointments to the doctor's pile.

Slowly, he reached for his friend and gently laid his right hand on her shoulder before slightly shaking it and rousing the doctor from her sleeping state. Almost instantly, Caitlin woke up gasping and looking around.

''Cisco?'' she whispered with her dry voice and her sleepy, and half-opened, eyes.

''It's me. I'm sorry I ran like that last week''' he apologize softly.

Looking up, Caitlin blinked a few times to clear her vision and make sure she wasn't dreaming or seeing things. Her tired eyes moved away from the standing figure to read the digital clock behind the breacher.

''You still came,'' she slowly articulated, as she wasn't sure she believed it, 'I 'didn't think you would tonight.''

''I almost didn't,'' admitted Cisco while passing his hand in his hair, ''I didn't know what to say after what I've done,'' he tried to say as silent tears started cascading down his cheek. ''He was my friend, he was  _your_  friend, and I let him down. I can't get it out of my head when he went down...He's gone because of me and I….Cait, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry,'' he started sobbing, badly.

Without adding a single other word, Caitlin got up and wrapped her arms around her friend's torso. There was nothing else to add, or at least nothing that would've made Cisco feel better. No existing word could lift the guilt that had been heavily weighing on the breacher since that night. What the breacher truly needed was warm and comfort from someone he could genuinely let go of his emotional wall. Someone he could trust. Caitlin closed her eyes as she felt tremors passing through the man and a head gently laying down on her shoulder.

''Shhh, it's ok, it's gonna be ok. Shhh...'' she smoothly repeated, again and again. It was going to be ok, they were going to make everything better, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment, so deeply appreciated as always ;)
> 
> And for information, I started working on a writing plan for a big Earth 3/Jay garrick story as well as some couple of ideas for a Darkest hours sequel, so get ready. These 2 big stories will probably come at the end of the spring or early summer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wednesday, August 22** **th** **, 3:08 AM**

''Even now, I'm still hearing his voice. I'm still hearing him call out for us when he took back control in Devoe's lair,'' told Cisco as he was sitting in his usual chair in the medical bay, next to his sleeping best friend's form. ''I didn't have time to tell him goodbye, or to tell him how sorry I was for leaving.''

Every time he would close his eyes, almost every single night, would see that scene again. He would see Barry taking back control of his body while Devoe was still inside of him. All it took was one second, just one, for the speedster to find the strength to win the mental battle and prove to each and everyone that he was still alive in there. He proved that his love for his friends and family was too strong, even for Devoe, to keep him away forever. On that night, Devoe got beaten by love, which was the one and only incalculable variable in the whole multiverse. That emotion was what stopped the evil man to kill the hero's entourage.

' _I'm sorry,'_  were the only words Barry managed to rasp when his glance fell on the shocked group. At this instant, his mind already knew what he had to do.

Before any of them could react, Barry had already overloaded the chair and destroyed Devoe's conscious, probably alongside with his. Everything had been over….in a flash. In the blink of an eye, their friend was gone and no matter how fast they took him back to the lab and managed to get his heart pumping again, it was already too late. Barry was already gone and by 1:00am exactly, on Wednesday, May 23rd, Caitlin pronounced the C word. Coma.

Every single Wednesday since that night had been the same, well, except for the one week Cisco missed. Well, for that night and also for today because, today, he wasn't alone. Caitlin was sitting right next to him and helping him keep vigil on their comatose friend.

''I'm sure Barry knew that you were sorry and didn't hold it against you, '' she said as she gently extended her arm and softly rubbed her friend's back while the engineer was leaning forward in his chair with his elbows on his knees and chin resting on his closed hands.

Cisco sighed and closed his eye for a second. Every logical part of his brain was screaming at him that the doctor was right; Devoe had calculated everything in the last 3 years, including which person would landed on the bus and what power they would get. He set in place every domino that would lead Team Flash to set Barry free of the Speed Force on the exact date of October 10th and on that exact spot he needed. So, of course, he would be ready to kidnap the speedster, whether Cisco would've been there or not.

''What about everyone else?'' He finally asked.

''They all missed you. I've been keeping your little secret about your visits, but it killed me to do it. You have to come back, at least come visit and tell them you're ok.''

As she was speaking, Caitlin was carefully studying the tensed and broken up features, trying to decrypt what thoughts and feelings were hiding behind them.

There's not much she wouldn't have given at the exact moment to know exactly what was going on in Cisco's stubborn head. No wonder he and Barry were, had been, so close; both were just as relentless as they come when they had an idea stuck in their mind, which could sometimes be good in combat situations. But, when it comes to pain and guilt, there was a moment where it was time to let go.

''Nobody is blaming you for what happened,'' she added after the silence kept on going, ''Plus, you still have to meet the baby,''

Cisco's head raised up at that and he looked at his friend with a blank expression. Oh right, he had to admit he completely forgot about the baby, Joe and Cecile's baby. Iris and Wally's half sister. The new member of the West family was two months old and Cisco didn't even had a single idea on what was the name of the little one. The only thing he remembered was hearing about Cecile being rushed to the hospital just as they were getting ready to raid Devoe's lair for their final stand against the man. Hours later, he was gone from Earth 1.

''She promises to be a fierce little one, '' tenderly added Caitlin, smiling.

''What's her name?'' Finally managed to ask Cisco, feeling his stomach twisting under the new forming guilt, he should've been there to support the team and the West family.

Caitlin smiled again as she softly answered: ''Danielle. Danielle West.''

**Tuesday, August 28th, 8:09pm**

"We should probably go, baby girl," said Joe, looking up from his watch and starting to get back up, "it's getting late," he added before checking his last received text message on his phone once more.

Iris sighed and got back up, but not without gently caressing her husband's hand as her warm grip gradually released: "I'll be back tomorrow. I love you," she whispered before leaning forward and laying a gentle kiss on Barry's forehead.

As both West were about to make their way out and pass the door, they ended up face to face with the doctor who was coming back to the room.

"Where are you guys going?" She inquired, clearly surprise and with a hint of resistance in her tone.

"Cecile's waiting for us outside," simply said Joe as the man turned around to take one final look to his foster son, an action he had been doing every day before leaving like he was hoping Barry would suddenly wake up at this instant.

"Wasn't she supposed to come and join us tonight? Haven't see her in a while," pressed Caitlin, causing Joe to frown suspiciously. Why would the doctor sound almost upset at his intention of leaving? She usually was the one kicking them out if they were to stay too late at night, especially on Tuesday night.

"She was, but she's quite tired. Danielle has been waking up a lot during the night these last couple of weeks."

Iris exchanged a glance with her father, being just as confused as him about the whole situation. It wasn't like Caitlin to react like that.

"I just want the chance to say hi to her and the baby, that would add some much needed life to this lab," she pleaded with gentle eyes.

Joe shrugged after one quick look to his daughter: "5 minutes," he yielded, causing Caitlin to look down at her watch. The poor girl deserved at least these couples of minutes for all the good and continuous cares she had been providing to the speedster. Plus, there was that little fact that while Joe was now living with his girlfriend, a new baby, and his daughter, who was refusing to go back to her loft, Caitlin was spending much of her time with a comatose patient. On that fateful day in May when Barry went down and Cisco left, she lost her two best friends.

A couple of moments and a text message or two later, the form of Cecile Horton entered the cortex, side by side with Joe who was pushing a blue baby stroller while Caitlin took a none-so-subtle look at her watch, 8:16 pm, before moving forward to greet the older woman. As much as she wanted to stalk and gain time, she was genuinely happy to see Cecile again. Her and the beautiful little baby.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, what about you?" answered back Cecile, smiling widely despite her obviously tired eyes.

"Hanging in there," tiredly said Caitlin, not bothering to hide her own exhaustion before moving her attention toward the little form. Looking down, her glance quickly found two beautiful green eyes, full of curiosity, staring right back at her.

Before Caitlin could say anything, a blue portal started forming in the middle of the cortex.

 _'About time,'_  thought Caitlin.

"Could it be...?" Trailed Iris, staring at the portal with wide opened eyes.

Seconds later, a familiar breacher jumped out of it and landed on his feet. In one glance, every adult in the room knew who that was way before the glasses were taken off and before the silence was broken.

"Cisco" breathed out Iris as she rushed in and wrapped her arms around his torso, a hug the breacher returned after a short lived hesitate.

"You're late," jokingly commented Caitlin.

"You knew he was coming back," said Joe.

It wasn't a question, but Caitlin still nodded. Her a reaction was missed by the detective who was taking his turn into hugging the metahuman, once his daughter was done and before his girlfriend could do the same motion.

"I've already been here a couple of times before, in the middle of the night, " admitted Cisco, "but Caitlin convinced me to come and to salute you. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

"What matter is that you're here, right now," answered Iris without a doubt or without missing a beat, unfazed by the revelation that it wasn't the first time Cisco came to visit, "and I'm happy to see you," she added, smiling.

"How's Earth 19?" Asked Joe.

"And Gipsy?" Added his daughter.

"It's...good, the job is great, so is Gipsy. She's doing well too," he assured before sending a quick look toward the stroller:"Can I?"

"Go ahead," said Cecile, gently gesturing toward her daughter to invite the young hero to go.

"She's beautiful," he instantly said, looking at the young and precious baby. Smiling tenderly, he gently stroked the soft silk blanket, "I'm sorry I wasn't there," he added with a bittersweet tone, one that had more than one meaning.

"It wasn't your fault, Cisco," gently said Joe who instantly caught up with the double meaning; the metahuman wasn't just talking about the baby.

Cisco sighed sadly, breaking contact from the small form and looking away from everyone while talking to all of them at the same time: "I'm trying to convince myself of it...I really am."

"We're just glad you're here, we missed you around," said Iris, showcasing a genuine smile, even if it was a slightly bittersweet one.

Cisco looked up at Caitlin; she had been right saying that nobody seemed to be blaming it on anyway and, in this very instant, he felt stupid for not listening to her.

"What now?"

"Now we stick together," simply said Caitlin, shrugging. What else could they do? Nothing...

Well, not nothing. Technically speaking. There was always a choice and they could move on with their lives, but no one was ready for that, not yet. Nobody in the room was willing just yet to give up on Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're happy that Cisco finally came back to see everyone?
> 
> I think I might add one extra, bonus, chapter if you're interested. Leave a comment and let me know if you want one last chapter of this


	4. Chapter 4

**Tuesday, September 5th, 6:03 pm**

"Hey, you're here early," commented Caitlin as she entered the medical bay to find Cisco watching over his best friend. The engineer was a lot earlier than what the team got accustomed to, but he wasn't completely out of his habits as he was still sitting in his usual spot.

Early or not, at least the atmosphere now was a lot lighter since he breacher decided to get back to the team. Well, back as talking to everyone else as he wasn't really ready to get back to Earth 1 full time just yet to protect Central City, especially considering he had a new job now and whole multiverse to look after. There was also the fact that everything around him reminded him of his friend in this town. On the bright side, not only he wasn't avoiding the team anymore, but he was also showing up more than once a week now. Caitlin had actually seen him on Monday this week and they all agreed to go, everyone in the team, on a night out next week. But, despite all of this, it was still important for Cisco to show up weekly on Tuesday night as it was keeping him grounded.

Deep inside, he knew Barry would've wanted them to keep on going, keep on living, and maybe it was time they would start to do that. It had been almost 3 months since everything went down and despite what they were all trying to tell themselves, that Barry had been there before and still came back after 9 months, reality was that the speedster's chances of waking up this time were going slimmer and slimmer by the month.

"Yeah, couldn't wait to get here. I-" Getting up from his chair, Cisco lowered his head to scratch his nose, unsure how he could express what he wanted to say, "it's gonna sound weird, but I just felt like I needed to be here, here and now."

Caitlin's smile fell at that comment and her glance drifted toward her patient. In a none-so-subtle way, she bit her lips and nervously started fidgeting with the tablet she was holding in her hands, a behavior that had Cisco frowning:

"What's wrong? Is Barry ok?" He asked, turning toward his comatose friend with worry, realizing how much of a stupid question it was after the words left his lips. Of course he wasn't ok, he hadn't been in months.

"Cisco..." Caitlin sighed as she moved away from her friend and from her patient to gently lay down the tablet on the desk before returning to the breacher, both hands unconsciously burying themselves in the tiny white pockets of her medical coat.

"Was there any changes in his condition?" asked Carry, getting up and closing the distance separating both friends.

"You can...say that," carefully said Caitlin as she looked back, making sure nobody else was about to enter the room. There was no point in hiding it to Cisco who knew her well enough to know when she was lying, "just promise me you won't say anything to anyone."

Slowly, Cisco nodded. Whatever it was, he needed to know, even if he feared the worst.

"I spotted a spike in his cerebral activity- " she had no doubt that Cisco's heart probably jumped at these words, "it might not mean anything. It's so small...it might even be a slight misread in the equipments. That's why I was hoping I could come and get a second reading before you would arrive," said Caitlin, desperately trying to keep the excitement contained for both herself and her friend. Except, it was too late, hope could be read all over Cisco's face. It was the first time she's seen that face lighten up like that since it happened, which could be both great….or not so good if it really was nothing but false hope.

If nothing else was to happen later, it was gonna be crushing for both of them.

**Monday, September 18th, 1:29pm**

The small jewelry box was rolling around from one hand to another under Cisco's pensive look. Like a kid about to get caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Cisco swiftly put away the box as he heard someone else entering the room. Despite his effort, he wasn't fast and subtle enough so that Iris wouldn't see it, but she decided to act as if it was the case. For now.

"What are you doing?"

Cisco sighed, what was the point of hiding anyway? Without saying another word, he took out the delicate, yet clearly old and rough on the edges, blue box out of his pocket and handed it over to Iris who sent an interrogative look before daring to open it. She had a strong theory about what it could be, but she still gasped at the sight of the beautiful, still shiny, diamond ring.

"It was Gipsy's mom. Breacher gave it to me yesterday...I don't know what to do with it and I was hoping Barry would help me.."

Gracefully taking place in a chair next to the young breacher, iris asked :"What are you hesitant about?"

As she was speaking, she gently stroke her husband's hand with her own.

Cisco's eyes rolled slightly in their socket, where wasn't there to be hesitant about? It was a big decision. The biggest.

"Do you love her?" Added Iris as she saw the way she got looked at in return.

"Of course I do, Iris," he exclaimed, a bit more strongly than intended. It had nothing to do with that.

"Then-" said the reporter as she closed the box and handed it back to her friend, "why are you overthinking it?"

"I wish it was this simple, Iris, I really do, but it's not."

Both glances instantly fell on the raising and falling chest in front of them as it was following the regular beeping of the machine.

"Because of Barry?"

Of course it was and they both knew it, but the comatose patient's wife still needed to hear it out loud.

"Yeah,I don't want to betray him. I don't want to make it look like I gave up on him...he could wake up at anytime time now," he said as he intensively stared at his peaceful friend's features like he was truly expecting his return at any second.

"Cisco, Caitlin told me the other day about what happened two weeks ago," she admitted, tiredly. "He might wake up today, or in 2 months from now, or never. How long are you going to wait 'til you start living your life again?"

 _'what about you?'_  He wanted to ask back, fully aware how the girl hadn't returned to the loft since that night, but he chose to keep quiet.

These words kept resonating through the night on his head, how long was he gonna wait before moving on?

**Tuesday, September 26th, 10:24**

4 months and almost 4 days since DeVoe had finally been defeated, a fact Caitlin was well-aware of as she walked back in the medbay to check on her patient one last time for the night. For an instant, just one quick instant, she almost wished she never lived all these adventures with Barry as she wasn't sure how long she would still hold on. The first 9 months Barry had been in a coma were easy as she had no personal attachment to her patient, but this time, the first 4 were feeling like hell. How long was she gonna put her life on hold to keep taking care of Barry? 5 other months? A year? More? Would Joe and Iris decide one day that it was time to pull the plug? That thought had her shivering. They wouldn't ask her to do that, right?

What if they would?

As her eyes laid on the comatose man, she also spotted the second person in the room, the one wearing a black leather uniform and who was playing with a jewelry box. So, the breacher hadn't asked.

"You're here late," she commented to start a conversation, jostling Cisco who straightened himself in his seat and hurriedly wiped his watery eyes.

"I can't do this anymore," he mouthed with difficulty, sniffing loudly. As his head turned around, Caitlin noticed how red and puffy his eyes were.

"Oh Cisco," whispered Caitlin, closing in and taking the shaking body between her strong arms.

"I miss him, I can't...he was supposed to wake up, h-"

"Shhhhh" smoothed the doctor, letting her friend let go of his emotions as countless tears cascaded down his cheeks.

She just wanted to say it was gonna be ok and that Barry was gonna be fine, but the truth is she had no idea.

"I'm losing hope, Caitlin," he admitted in her shoulder. The one sentence she eventually expected to hear from someone, but she didn't expect it to come from Cisco first.

"It's gonna be ok," she whispered before she could think about what she was saying, what if it never was going to be ok again?

As both friend were tightly holding each other for comfort and to desperately hold on their own sanity, they missed a small detail. A detail that wasn't really one as on the left hand of the comatose patient, his index, twitched. It was almost an impermeable movement, but it was there for half a second before it was gone again.

**Tuesday, October 3rd, 8:00pm**

"I did it man-" said Cisco, with a bittersweet smile on his face,"I asked her. I asked Gipsy if she wanted to marry me...and she said yes,"

His lips were widening at the memory of the moment. He couldn't deny that it was a good memory, but as he was thinking back in it, he couldn't help the guilt that it was like he gave up on his friend.

"Plus, she said she would be ok if we were to come live here as she would just need to breach over to get to work. It's not worse than taking the bus right?" Joked Cisco like he was expecting his friend to answer. Almost 4 and a half month since it happened. Already.

Cisco's eyes moved between his Vibe goggles and his still friend before sighing deeply, "I'm not sure if I'm ready to come back living here, I really miss you, man."

Closing his eyes in defeat and grief, Cisco gently laid his hand on his friend bare arm and, suddenly, froze. Did he just...was that ..? No it couldn't be.

It didn't take long, but Cisco could've sworn he felt a movement under his palm. Feeling his heart racing in his chest, he fought the urge to give in to hope or even open his eyes; was he so desperate to get his friend back that he was sensing ghost movements now?

Oh God. There it was. Again.

Cracking his eye open, just the slightest at first, he dared to look up and saw it, he saw Barry's features tensing up and his eyeballs moving under his lids. Not too long after, a profound and primitive growl started growing from the man's throat as air was fighting against the tube.

"Oh my God. Barry," quietly breathed out Cisco, in pure shock, "can you hear me?" He whispered, slowly blinking

He had no recollection of getting up, but he was on his feet now and when the growl transformed into a painful and choking cough, he sprinted at the entry of the room, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"CAITLIN!"

*****FLASHFLASHFLASH*****

"Why isn't he waking up? I'm sure he was!" Worredly asked Cisco for the hundredth time. He didn't dream of this, he didn't imagine his friend opening his eyes halfway and struggling desperately against the tube in his throat 'til he finally passed out just as Caitlin was done freeing him of it.

"It's a miracle he opened his eyes at all, calm down. He'll come around, eventually," reassured the doctor as she laid her eyes on the sleeping form who was now equipped with the nasal cannula instead of the ventilator. Barry's vitals were still weak, but he was finally breathing on his own again, a little something too many people took for granted while Barry hadn't done it in months. Cisco was walking back and forth in the lab and couldn't stop doing it 'til he would finally get to talk to his best friend again. What if he wasn't himself again? What if there wasn't anything left of his mind? What if this? What if that?

The breacher froze as he thought for sure he heard a weak groan coming from the bed. He didn't imagine that either. Caitlin probably heard it too as she rushed closer, leaning over the bed and gently grabbing the speedster's head;

"Barry? Can you hear me?...Barry?" The moment of silence that followed lasted for what seemed like forever.

Eyes struggled and rolled under their lids for a moment before they finally opened halfway and stared straight ahead at an empty space between the two friends. Feeling her stomach turning in her chest, Caitlin almost didn't want to ask more questions, fearing what she might find out. She needed to be strong and she needed to make sure the real Barry was still in there, that it wasn't just an empty shell.

"Barry?" Was the speedster even hearing her?

Finally, the green eyes settled on her as he weakly whispered the next word: "D…-voe?" He rasped, causing both Caitlin and Cisco to look at each other, was he seeing Devoe? Or asking for something else?

"He's not here, Barry, you're safe," tried Cisco who walked forward and leaned over the bed too to grab his best friend's shoulder.

"You did it, you killed him, Barry," concurred Caitlin, smiling tenderly at him.

When the eyes glanced at Cisco with some sense of clarity in them, the relief the breacher felt was indescribable. He never thought he would see Barry again and he couldn't help the chuckle of relief that escaped his lips, "you're back man, we got you."

The confused green eye blinked a few times before Barry smiled and moisturized his lips with his tongue, "I did it", he whispered, "I'm alive."

It was Caitlin's turn to breath out and chuckle.

Slowly turning his head around, Barry examined the whole room before coming back to his friends and to Cisco wearing the full Breacher's attire, "why are you wearing this?"

It was smiling widely from ear to ear that Cisco said, "that's one long story...hope you have some time."

It was gonna take some time to adjust, for all of them. So many things to tell between Cisco's new job, his future wedding with Gipsy and Joe's new baby girl, but they were going to figure it out and make it work. Like they always end up doing.

**The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: We're now all caught up with everything I've written so far. If you wanna read more from me, note that there's still 7 chapters in my Identity serie (Long way home) and I've published the titles and the dates of the final 7 chapters of this story on my Fanfic writer/Flash twitter account. You can find me right here:   
> https://twitter.com/Flash_Katie237
> 
> Don't be shy to come find me to talk or just stay up to date with some updates I put about my stories there from time to time. I'll also post news about the upcoming stories on my twitter too, stay tune

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: There you go, leave a comment
> 
> Have a couple of ideas for a second chapter if you're interested


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